YOLO!

You only live once!

“live a little every day, ek hi zindagi mili hai (you have got but one life)” these were the words written by a post-graduate student of IIT Hyderabad in his suicide note.

In the past few weeks, we came across quite some numbers of suicide cases. Be it a  Bollywood actor Sushant Singh Rajput, or a 16 yr. old tik tok fame sia kakkar, it has been a sad time for the world to come across such heart-rending news, in tough times like these, during this pandemic when people are already dying at such a large number, this news of young adults committing suicide is nerve-wracking. But this is not the first time, suicides are not anything new, a total of around 26-28 people commit suicide in India every day, and one person every 40 seconds around the world choose death over life. Even in this lockdown period, 33 people from Mohali, India gave up on their lives. now, these statistics are just a part of the huge menace that is prevailing in the society. We hear and read the bulk of news articles, about people ending their lives, be it the farmers, drug addicts, students, labourers etc

age wise suicide stats.

Now, let us go through some basics about suicide. So according to the definition, “suicide is an act of intentionally causing one’s death.” The risk factors, included are mental disorders (depression, bipolar disorder, anxiety, schizophrenia etc) or daily life stress (financial issues, unemployment, relationship problems, bullying etc).

Now, let me make it clear this article is not going to be about suicide or the stats, or how to prevent suicide etc. rather my focus here is to find the answer to the WHY! That why such a sudden increase in such happenings, why is that people resort to this way of solving their problems? Why does this thought even occur in their mind?

While I was thinking over this thought. Trying to find an answer for any of the above-mentioned questions, a realisation dawned upon me. Have we normalised this idea? It seems like society has just accepted the idea and presence of this stigma. Whenever we come across any news about suicide, we immediately feel pity and sympathy towards the deceased. whereas there used to be a time, when in the ancient era the person who committed suicide wasn’t even given the proper rights of burial, or when suicide was considered an act of cowardice, here my idea is not to disrespect the dead, I agree that they must have faced some tough situations, or adverse times in their life so that they chose death over life, but who doesn’t face adversity ? is life any easier for any of us, we all struggling in our battles. We all face disappointments, unfulfilled expectations, broken dreams, being financially broke, relationship hardships but does that mean, rather than trying to find a positive outlook for the situation we just go for the easier path? Does dying ends the problems? No! they end you, not the problems, problems have only solutions, not escapades. But again, not everyone, who commits suicide is because of stress or anything. Some people commit suicide because of mental illnesses, or incurable diseases, etc.

The term suicide was coming in the usage in 1700, back then, suicide was considered a crime. In some countries, it is still a crime by law. So, what happened that society, accepted it as some act to be done when there is no choice? As David Hume said, suicide was not a crime, as it affected no one and was potentially for the advantage of the individual. Well, according to me choices have a nature of being universal wherever you go, whatever you do, whatever difficulty you come across there is always one or other choice, a way out. as we have heard when one door closes, the other one opens. Also, what good does commit suicide brings?

After pondering for quite some time, on this idea, one thing I realised is that in this race of future, and a chase of dreams and goals, we have forgotten to live. We have completely ignored the idea that in life, the most important part is to live. But are we living? I don’t think so. In this always evolving world, this developing tendency of humans, running after materialistic stuff, what we have ignored is the true reason of our genesis. We have neglected the fact that we are a part of nature, we hold within ourselves so many qualities to heal, to love, to grow etc that with all them no negativity can even come near us. But unfortunately, we humans, have shifted to existing rather than living.

Now is there any specific time or age when a person might feel like just escaping Is this world full of problems and sorrow? Or is there any age from where it all started? well not really. Because the fact is when a person eventually decides to end his/her life, they have been facing that gloom for quite a long time, like a part of our body if tortured repeatedly becomes sensitive and then even a touch feels like a hammer on the injury, similarly, initially a person who is being harassed mentally, physically or emotionally trues to take the things lightly, trying to see the positive, or hope for the positive to happen, but when the life just decided to be harsher on them, that’s when the patience breaks and even a slightest of something out of order feels like a huge disruption the lives. And that’s the time when the person needs to have a bit more patience, a bit more will to hold on, to try once again, Afterall life doesn’t give the greater good to those who had it easy. Below are some examples of people who suffered difficulties in different ages, but came out as winners against the adversities of life.

1. Maria das gracas silva foster, the current head of Brazilian oil giant (Petrobras). in her childhood, she was forced to collect cans and paper on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro that she could recycle to help pay for school. This made her value hard work and became Petrobras’s first female CEO.
2. If Thomas Edison had listened to what his teachers told him when he was a kid, perhaps he could never have become such a famous inventor and businessman. He was scolded by his teachers for being dumb, got fired from his first two jobs due to lack of productivity. But he trusted his instincts, which helped him out of the roadblocks.
3. Dominos’ pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan, made it to the big, by suffering a lot during his 20s. he grew up in a poor household, sent to foster home due to lack of money for more than six years. Even after he established dominos’ his business went down due to bad partnership, and two years after that his company’s office caught fire. After that, the company went under huge debt, and he even had to turn the company over to a bank creditor to avoid bankruptcy, but later he recovered all of it. This shows his patience, faith and perseverance

And there are many such stories of people, who had been under immense stress, faced several failures yet they had the will and belief to succeed one day. so now the question comes, that what is stopping the current generation from looking towards the positive outlook? Why such hopelessness? Why such despair? well, the answer lies within us, yes! The place where we seldom look for the answers. We often want clear answers and for that, we either try to use our brains or ask others for solutions. While the truth is the answer to any problem lies within us. We, humans, are a wonderful creation of the divine and she has put a part of her in all of us, just all we need to do is connect and communicate with ourselves. Now, how do we do that?

Ways to connect with the divine situated in the deeper psyche:

• Introspecting– it means trying to understand oneself. What we are? What do we want? What gives us happiness? What makes us sad? And then, trying to peel each layer of these questions, only to find more questions and answers.
• Accepting one self’s flaws and working on them.
• Acknowledging the fact that we are souls first, so worrying about these worldly problems isn’t worth it.
• Feelings are just visitors. So, we should not make them stay for longer or unnecessarily
• Believing and expecting the greater good no matter what.
•  Submitting to one divine power. Be it some god, or universe. Unless we have someone or something to confide into, we might at times feel vulnerable.
• Meditate! That’s a one way to connect to the inner divinity and the universal soul or almighty.
• Read good books, engage with positive words and thoughts.
• Listen to spiritual or soothing music. spend time with nature.
• Spend more time with yourself, by engaging in self-healing activities such as writing, singing, gardening, walking etc
• Just because emotions are foreign visitors does not mean, they need to be kept at a distance. Embrace your emotions, feel what you need to when you need to. Smile when you want, cry when you feel like. Let your senses loose, yet in control.
•  Your life is working for your good it might not seem as such at times. But try to understand the reason behind the happenings of your life. Love your life, for it to love you back.
• Eat well, pray well and sleep well. Love yourself, be grateful for every second of your life.
• Trust your destiny and work hard for your own betterment.
• When the heart feels too much in pain, give it time and love to self-heal. Your soul has all the magic powers to heal the burning self.

Now, let us conclude it in a bit simpler word. Firstly, the answer to WHY? has been answered. That we as humans have forgotten to live, to connect with ourselves. That’s why we are so much vulnerable to all the negativities and self-harm. One even simpler thing that we all can do is to never let the child in us die. Your life is yours. Be it any age, your teenage, your adult life, the mid-life, or even old age. Feel good to be alive, be grateful, stay curious about anything and everything. Like a kid! welcome the pain and problems with a wide smile and embrace what it has to offer. Look for lessons in all the hardships. Spread love, warmth and positivity. The universe reciprocates!

-shethinker

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